May 9
End: Rausch Gap Shelter
Miles: 29.2
Total: 3032.5
Everyone, this is BackTalk. I’m Sterling’s backpack, and I’ve got to make this quick before he catches me writing in his journal. Right now he’s listening to some kind of terrible music and singing away, so I figured I had some time to check this journal out. I’m glad my friend Maverick told me about these trail journals so that I could try and reach the outside world somehow.
It all started back in December of 2011. I came straight off of the assembly line, a brand spanking new pack all ready for an ultralight backpacking expert. But who do they ship me to instead? Some kid going out for his first backpacking trip. I thought that there must be some mistake. I even overheard my new owner, Sterling, talking about how he had tried to hike seventy miles and had only made it fifty the first time, then just twenty the second!
Before I knew it, we were on a plane to Key West. Ya, Key West! I couldn’t even get an owner that wanted to do a real trail. We just walked along the road for eons.
I’ll spare you all the details, but basically this guy just didn’t know what he was doing. He put some giant wind screen in me, plus a Foster’s can as his cooking pot. He’s improved since the beginning, but he still won’t give me any real food. Every day, it’s nothing but Nature Valley bars, a rice side, and some instant mashed potatoes. Every day! Oh, and in the beginning, I was carrying an extra pair of shoes for him, just so he didn’t have to put his other shoes in the swamp. Grow up, dude!
I’m so glad that we’re on the Appalachian Trail now. I’ve made new friends with several packs out here, and even learned a thing or two from Maverick. In case you didn’t know, Maverick belongs to Lakeland, a real hiker! I don’t know why I couldn’t have been matched with a guy like that. He’s actually done other trails, and he takes great care of Maverick.
Back in Georgia, Sterling was bouncing down a mud hill, going way too fast, and slipped, falling on me! Then the bum just gets up and keeps walking like nothing happened! Umm, hello? You ripped my hip belt off and split me right down the side, fatso. Thankfully, he figured it out and had me sewn up instead of just trying to replace me. Still, sometimes I wonder if I’m even going to make it to Katahdin, much less Newfoundland.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fun, too. My favorite way to antagonize him was to eat at his shirt all day. Finally there were so many holes in the back of his shirt that some guy gave him another.
Well, it looks like Sterling might be putting his earbuds away, so I’d better go. I think today’s his birthday, so he’s probably feeling extra annoying. Bet the guy doesn’t even know when my birthday is. If you see me on the trail, please kidnap me or at least get me some real food or gear. Anything!
